I’ll try make this post as quick as I can because it’s one of the lesser pleasant ones and it’s more of an update on how things are going.
I’ll get the bad new out of the way first as it’ll give a lot of understanding a context.
Only July 5th my uncle passed away suddenly and we only knew he was ill at around 8pm and he had died just after 10. So it was a big shock to us and it really just blew us all off course. I only really got to know him over the past year during lockdown. My mother, him, his wife and I would phone at 8pm and talk about anything and do quizzes. Me and him were very into video games so it gave us something nice to bond over and I’m glad I got to know him. For 26 years I hardly knew anything about him just that he was close with my mother.
Lockdown gave me a lot of nice things but getting to know my family better was the best thing.
He will be very missed.
Because of this shock it’s put things in perspective of my own life and it’s been somewhat of a stressful and painful week thinking about it all. What to do for the future, what the plans are right now, how nothing can progress because of the travel bans and still needing to figure out what I want in life. Couple that with how my work is changing up how I do things which makes it more stressful it ended with me crying in my bosses office Monday afternoon. He noticed I seemed more down than usual and when he asked me what was wrong I just broke down for 20 minutes. It was a bad time but the result was that I have this week off to rest, recuperate and get my head sorted which is what I’m planning to do.
I want to get back into some of my old routines and interests that I’ve sadly fallen out of due to feeling down all the time. I used to watch movies a lot. Grabbing food at 10pm, wrapping up in blankets and enjoying some great pieces of cinema. I used to like creating and painting masks, especially of those from the Payday series. I used to enjoy playing old games from my childhood which I find hard to get into these days.
So here’s a quick list of things I’m going to work towards and improve on in my life.
- Take a walk at least once a day, twice would be ideal if it’s possible.
- Relax to some enjoyable music to really clear my head of things and remember good, happy moments.
- Read more books I have on my shelves that have been neglected for so long.
- Watch more movies, also from my DVD shelves that have been neglected for so long.
- Play through games that are relaxing and enjoyable, lose myself in it’s world.
- Drink more water, eat a little more healthily and take in the fresh air outside.
- Focus my time on old projects like editing, still have a lot of footage to go through.
- Keep conversations light and pleasant, don’t need to think about negative aspects of the world.
I think if I keep to a few of these at least then I can feel like I’m improving bit by bit. Hopefully by the time I return to work next Monday I can come in with a better feeling of myself a lot less stress.
Hope you’re all doing well and staying safe.